Dad Jokes

A SQL statement walks into a bar and sees two tables. It approaches, and asks "may I join you?"

If Bill Gates had a dime for every time Windows crashed ... Oh wait, he does.

Hey Girl, Roses are #ff0000, Violets are #0000ff, I use hex codes, But I'd use RGB for you.

My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children. If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.

A neutron walks into a bar and asks for a price on a drink. The barkeeper says: "For you... no charge!"

Two C strings walk into a bar. The bartender asks "What can I get ya?" The first string says "I'll have a gin and tonic." The second string thinks for a minute, then says "I'll take a tequila sunriseJF()#$JF(#)$(@J#()$@#())!*FNIN!OBN134ufh1ui34hf9813f8h8384h981h3984h5F!##@" The first string apologizes, "You'll have to excuse my friend, he's not null-terminated."

The glass is neither half-full nor half-empty, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.

// This line doesn't actually do anything, but the code stops working when I delete it.

Oysters hate to give away their pearls because they are shellfish.

To whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office, I will find you. You have my Word!